reJOYce

i've said this a few times recently:
my life has settled into a serene, peaceful joy.
something that i've felt before, but never quite as consciously.
it's not even an extreme happiness
such that i wear a huge grin continuously.
it's more like a slight smile...barely even distinguishable...
but i just feel it
even my eyes are smiling!

i like what i read
i like thinking about God in EVERY class.
i like thinking about God in almost every aspect of my day.
i like that God is ever present, literally.
i like learning about Him from different perspectives
and why people feel they need Him in their lives
and why some don't.

At times God is personified as a Him.
At times God's an ambiguous It.
the connection
the possibility of all things
love
everything
existence
light

and the need to completely understand has left me.
but the desire for a deeper meaning only increases with every page i read and every detail that i observe in life.
ah i just love it.
new questions, new theories, new conceptions
new new new
everyday
it's exciting
and exhausting
but i wouldn't have it any other way.
i'm definitely on my way to insanity and i'm loving every minute of it.

i'll never quit trying to think about things i'll never be able to conceive.