inside of a yellow envelope:

was a nice surprise!

Go Fresno!

When I was younger, my family used to attend all the Fresno State football and basketball games. I learned to cheer early on in my life. I honestly thought that I'd go to Fresno State when it came time for me to enter college. (But Berkeley won out and holds the number one spot in my heart.) Yet I've never lost my allegiance to the Bulldogs. And tonight, they made history. Congratulations! Celebrations! FSU Baseball team wins the NCAA championship for the very first time!











ASSOCIATED PRESS

I pull the car away from the Fonteneaus' curb, dreading the rest stops, the gas station, the midway hotels ahead for us. I wish my mother were here now, talking to us about some miracle she'd just heard about in a sermon at the Mass. I wish my sculpture were still in the trunk. I wish I hadn't met Gabrielle Fonteneau, that I still had that to look forward to somewhere else, sometime in the future. I wish I could give my father whatever he'd been seeking in telling me his secret. But my father, if anyone could, must have already understood that confessions do not lighten living hearts.

My mother used to say that we'll all have three deaths: the one when our breath leaves our bodies to rejoin the air, the one when we are put back in the earth, and the one that will erase us completely and no one will remember us at all.

yes.

I'm a living sunset
Lightning in my bones
Push me to the edge
But my will is stone

I believe in a better way

Fools will be fools
And wise will be wise
But i will look this world
Straight in the eyes

I believe in a better way

What good is a man
Who won't take a stand
What good is a cynic
With no better plan

I believe in a better way

Reality is sharp
It cuts at me like a knife
Everyone i know
Is in the fight of their life

I believe in a better way

Take your face out of your hands
And clear your eyes
You have a right to your dreams
And don't be denied

I believe in a better way

Better Way- Ben Harper

no no NO

ughh.
again....really?
i thought avoidance would do the trick.

apparently NOT.

lava monster.

playgrounds are fun.

i'll never tire of:

sipping tea in the wee morning hours
awaiting the approach of the sun
finally allowing my body the rest it's been desiring
the quiet, cool night air
having inspiration strike and furiously writing at 3 am.

i'm going to bask in the beauty that is college insanity for as long as i possibly can until i venture out into the world of rationality and sleeping while it's dark outside. as cringe-worthy as paper writing is, i'm not ready to give it up yet. i'm not ready to say good-bye to that which is berkeley and to all of my ambivalent feelings towards my requirements as a student. wow, how can 3 years have gone by already? each one vastly different than the year preceding it. what surprises will my last one hold... ha, i've got three more weeks of that intensity which i like to call summer session A before i can allow myself to ponder the upcoming year. on that note, i'll retreat back to my 750 words on the "dirty war" of Argentina in the late 1970's. i'm really starting to appreciate the profound effects of the things that i learn daily on my opinions and understanding of myself and the world. the need for compassion and respect is so evident. and, i'm becoming more positive everyday that i will only be happy if i can in someway dedicate my life to making those bolded concepts a reality for as many people as possible.

motivation? oh how i love them.

hehehe. my 2 best friends' advice for me:

leila: juliette and her silly head filled with crazy ideas like education, equality, human rights and jesus food??? oh juls...silly girl. keep your mouth quiet like a good little girl

ben: seriously, use that uterus and bring about the next generation, its the ONLY thing you have to do.


but then we have these:

ben: well i mean its pretty cool your in our dreams, lets not get stuck on the details of what happens in the dreams. we pick on you because we love you and like to bring you back down to earth :)

leila: i love you so much. just want you to know that

my life right now =

chaos chaos chaos chaos chaos chaos chaos
call a bunch of people i don't know
chaos chaos chaos chaos
send out sooooo many emails
chaos chaos chaos chaos chaos chaos
midterms ALREADY
chaos chaos chaos chaos chaos
wait, how much reading do i have left to do???
chaos chaos chaos chaos chaos chaos

chaos:
self inflicted
yet inescapable

uploading pictures while "let it be" comes on shuffle makes me smile.

she may be my friend....

but i do NOT agree with her.

friend: "a woman's job is to get married and have babies."

EXCUSE ME

my sole purpose on this earth is not just to procreate.
and just because i can have children does not mean i should.
first i need to make sure that they will live in an environment that allows them to flourish.
whatever happened to responsibility?
whatever happened to giving your children a chance to succeed and thrive?
i wonder if it ever existed in madera...the teen pregnancy capital of america (i'm not joking).
what has informed the minds of those in that town for so long??
why have they not collectively come to expect better things for themselves?
why are 16 year old girls still getting pregnant and giving up their own dreams in order to provide for the next generation?
why are my friends okay with it and deem it "God's will" that girls have babies?

seriously?

don't get me wrong, i'm all for having children.
later.
when i can give them the opportunity they deserve.
babies will NOT come from me because i was bored or irresponsible.
and NOT because i'm a woman and that's my role.
give me a break,
both myself and the future little juliettes are worth more than that.