Saturday, January 31, 2009

La Mediterranean


A carafe? Really?!


"L" is for Lisa

How do you claim a slice of cheese for yourself?
Take a bite out of it, then put it back.
Securely yours (as is the pineapple slice underneath)!
movement!, still
still, movement!


Thursday, January 29, 2009

Gong Shi Fa Tsai!

Happy Chinese New Year! (1/26), celebrated on 1/24

the magnificent chef Tiffany!

YUM!
the menu: steak and broccoli, shrimp with mixed vegetables, Alaskan red salmon (caught by her cousin), bok choy, Chinese broccoli, and "the dish with 10 things"

Robert insisted that we watch Mulan on the ol' tv

the wonderful Tiffany and the lovely Denise

the mates of apartment 4! :D

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I'm sorry you feel like I'm leaving you or that I don't want to be near you or with you. It's not that at all. Not to offend you, but it has nothing to do with you. I'm not thinking about what I'm leaving or what I'm leaving behind. I'm not trying to escape anything. I'm focused on where I'm going, what's ahead. Where do you think my life is? In Madera? No, I left that life 4 years ago with one little yes on a form that said Berkeley. In Berkeley? Not for much longer. What do I have keeping me here? A relationship? No. Friends? They're graduating too. My scholastic adventure is coming to a close. I'm not through learning, but I have soaked in what Berkeley had to offer like a sponge. Now I'm ready to apply it. To witness first hand what I've only read about. I'm creating my life as I go along. I'm not trying to fulfill any aspirations that I had when I was a child. Those were selfish dreams. Built on nothing but vanity. I wanted fame, not actually a cure. I wanted people to know I existed and I wanted it to be for a worthwhile cause. Yes I wanted to help, but I also wanted to be acknowledged. More than I wanted to help. Tell me, is that something to aspire to? Is that something to be proud of? No, no it is not. I want to learn to be a part of a community. Berkeley has taught me, that as special and unique of an individual I am, I will always be part of a community. People are not made to accomplish things by themselves. People should not seek glory so that everyone will know their name. People are here for one another. To serve and be served. To play equal roles, and recognize that they can't "save the world" without help. Where's the humility in doing anything for the glory? Make me not famous. Make me willing to do what is needed. To go where I should. To learn, to witness, to serve, to be served. Make me humble. Make me honest. Make me loving.

Monday, January 26, 2009

a little bit about art

I spoke to my dad for a long time on the phone today and it was really nice. I don't do that very often and it was incredibly refreshing. I was reminded of his laid back personality, what a genius he is, and that he thinks I'm funny. I've grown to adopt many of my dad's qualities and grown away from the ones I used to share with my mom. I'm more contemplative than I used to be and I'm not quite as nosey as I once was. I like that my dad sees the humor in sarcasm and can take a joke. I like that he knows that I have a life that is constantly moving and in flux and he doesn't need constant updates about it. He is supportive of all my crazy ideas. He laughs outloud when I'm acting silly and lets me sit with him in his big chair even though I'm not a little girl anymore. He hugs me for a long time every time I come home and tells me that he doesn't want me to leave. He's honest and hard working. He's the only one who can win a disagreement with Mrs. Vicki Hughes. He likes to go shopping and he likes old western and epic war movies. He likes to reference either the Last Samurai or Gladiator in conversations. I learned today that his favorite book as a child was Fire Hunter by Jim Kjelgaard and that he used to secretly stay up late to read Jack London's The Call of the Wild. He doesn't know what brie is and he doesn't apologize for it. He taught me that blueberries and spinach are healthy and necessary to eat regularly. He can singlehandedly make a box of See's chocolates disappear in a matter of days. He would be more comfortable with me living in Nicaragua than Nepal because his mother's best friend was from Nicaragua and it's closer to California. He knows I like to study Buddhism and can't fathom why. He likes to think that I teach my professors rather than them teaching me. He doesn't like to sing in church, but he loves to sing Carpenters songs to me in the car. He easily sees the good in people and he taught me that serving others is not a chore, but something that comes naturally. He exists quietly, always bettering the lives of those he knows. He has an amazing soul. I think one of the reasons why I am joyful so often is because he is. He taught me long ago to love the world and humanity before I even realized that I did.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Ironically, it's been a long week.

Even though we had Monday off.
So filled with both sad and happy news.
Days consisting of many hours of
work
applications
auditions
rain
conversations.

Getting back into the school mode is hard,
especially when so many that I know are no longer in school.
I feel like it will make the transition process easier in a few months
because I now like my job better than classes.
I know what it's like to have a life that's not soley college-involved and oriented.
And many of my friends now exist outside the UC Berkeley arena.

Ha, remind me again in May
why I shouldn't be sad while I'm crying during graduation.

And now I lie here awake.
Not because I have not slept.
But in my exhaustion I basically fell asleep at 7 pm.
I danced for 6 hours yesterday.
4 hours of class and one performance audition.
Rode my bike back through the rain! :D
When I finally got home, my body said
"that's enough for one day, you rest now."
And I did.

Monday, January 19, 2009

<3

My best friend got engaged today!
Leila, I love you so much
and I'm so happy for you!

now we get to go dress shopping!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

who you callin' emo?









:D !!!!

Tiffany got me a real Chinese tea set for my half birthday!
I am SO excited!!
It was such a surprise and so thoughtful!
I absolutely love it.
:D

watered down

sometimes i think the fact that i have so many close friends actually negates our closeness

Saturday, January 17, 2009

So here's the deal:

1) sometimes I just don't feel like talking.
on the phone,
in person,
etc.
therefore, i will not call you
and i might not pick up if you call me.
my mother is trying to deal with this.
no, i'm not mad.
no, i'm not offended.
yes, i'm still alive.
yes, i still love you as much if not more than before.
yes, i still need you as a big part of my life....
but not like i used to.
i suppose i won't fully understand until i become a mother myself.

2) i'm not as clueless as you think i am.
and i'm sorry.
3) i miss annie already.

4) i'm not sure that the deal we made is going to work out.
i need something more concrete than that.
and you live too far away right now.

5) i think i'm more scared about being accepted to JVI than not.
that's why i'm procrastinating on the application.
what if they actually want me to go?

6) i am so blessed to have good friends.
i was given a rosary of rose scented wood today.
made in mexico.
and a piggybank named chancho.
made in chile.

7) i grow more fond of my tiny little preschool friends everyday.
they are just so sweet.
with beautiful, distinct personalities.

8) i almost drove home to madera at 2:30 am this morning
to give my mom a hug
and hear my father's jokes.

9) it's funny how prayers are answered sometimes
even though you don't even believe in what you are saying.

10) i'm not ready to be a responsible adult yet.

11) animal crackers are going to sweep the nation!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Questions for Ari Folman

The Peacemaker

Interview by DEBORAH SOLOMON
Published: January 6, 2009 in The New York Times Magazine

The headlines coming out of Gaza have lent added relevance to your new film, “Waltz With Bashir,” which uses the unlikely form of animation to piece together a nuanced account of your experiences in the 1982 Lebanon War.
It will always be up-to-date because something will always happen again.

You mean the prospect for peace seems so remote? That’s sad.
But it’s true.

You were a 19-year-old soldier at the time of the massacre of Palestinians by Lebanese Christian Phalangists in two refugee camps in West Beirut. Where were you during that 72-hour rampage?
We were nearby, a half a mile away, and we realized what happened just after it ended, while women were running hysterically out of the camps.

The film can be described as the Israeli “Slaughterhouse-Five.”
Yes, more than anything else, I see it as an antiwar movie.

One tends to think of Israel as a country where survivalist imperatives do not allow for much antiwar sentiment.
Israelis are divided, definitely, but I think you hear too much of the louder voices that always justify any kind of act of aggression. But there is a very big crowd of people who are fed up with war. I can’t understand the word “war” anyhow.

What can’t you understand?
I can’t understand people killing each other for a piece of land. Can you understand that?

All this offers a sharp contrast with the glamorized image of Jewish soldiers depicted a half-century ago in a novel like “Exodus,” by Leon Uris. Have you read it?
It’s a must-read in Israel, and the film with Paul Newman is a must-film.

Israel’s founding generation didn’t seem to harbor ambivalence about war.
They were survival wars. They were about the existence of the country, and they were influenced tremendously by the Holocaust. But the Lebanon War had nothing to do with survival.

It was a military exception?
It was not an exception. It was a turning point in the relationship between the Israeli leadership and the people, who realized for the first time that war can be declared just for political reasons.

Ariel Sharon would disagree.
What went through Sharon’s head in 1982? Only he knows.

Were you interested in film as a child?
No, not really. I was interested in football and rock ’n’ roll and girls. As a child I played the clarinet, a nice Jewish instrument.

Your parents were Holocaust survivors?
They met in the Lodz ghetto in Poland when they were 16. They married four years later on Aug. 18, 1944. The next morning, during the liquidation of the ghetto, they were evacuated to Auschwitz.

How old were you when you learned of their past?
The moment I understood Hebrew.

You were one of the original writers on “In Treatment,” the Israeli show set in a psychiatrist’s office that was adapted by HBO.
You know the show? There is an Israeli pilot traumatized by his experiences dropping a bomb that killed 14 kids. In the American version, it was adapted to Iraq.

Will he be returning for the second season?
No, he committed suicide.

I’m sorry. Couldn’t you save him?
No. I’m not a great believer in psychotherapy.

Have you been analyzed?
I’ve been analyzed way too much.

The problem with therapy is that you’re listening to no one but yourself. How can you learn anything?
That’s a very good sentence. Can I use it from now on, as if I invented it?

It’s yours, and no one will ever know. Do you find that talk is more effective in matters of war and diplomacy?
Yes. I think you should always ask yourself: has everything been done to prevent the conflict? Talk, don’t shoot. Talk.

INTERVIEW CONDUCTED, CONDENSED AND EDITED BY DEBORAH SOLOMON

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Ever get the feeling

that you've done something wrong?
You just can't put your finger on exactly what...

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

temperature balance

I am currently huddled mere inches from the heater while devouring cookies and cream icecream. Yum!!