"Via con Dios"

That's what Fr. Al said to me last night during Fr. Charlie's dinner.
It was beautiful.

Go with God.

That will be the only thing I'm going with.
And hopefully the only thing necessary.
I cried on Saturday night.
My life is in Berkeley.
The majority of my friends are here.
My best memories.
I've only been in love here.
I've walked the streets in so many parts of the city.
I know what lies beneath the sidewalks of campus.
I've spent all night in the library.
I've spent all day at the preschool.
I've lived predominantly at Newman.

I cried so much last night.
John and I sat in mass and wept.
Wept.

Newman has been my family.
Last night,
We sang together.
We prayed together.
We held hands.
We were silent.
We even laughed out loud at some points.
Just as it's always been.

I will neither be here, nor with the rest of my family in Madera.
I will not be able to help plan the weddings.
I will not be around to witness the excitement
and to ease the stress.
I am going to miss out on SO MUCH.
And yet, via con Dios.

I will be going with God.
There is nothing more that I could ask for.