A heavy and joyful heart have I

It seems that I have been receiving blow upon blow lately.

News from my family

striking me right in the gut.

I cried for an entire hour one night.

Held tight, wrapped in loving arms, but still sad nonetheless.

Of course as people get older, life becomes harder.

More serious.

Everything has consequences.

I realized that I feel the pain of my family more than anything else.

I weep for them.

PEOPLE DON'T DESERVE THIS.

WHY IS LIFE SO PAINFUL?

IT ISN'T FAIR. IT ISN'T FAIR. IT ISN'T FAIR.

(who can i say this to who will finally make it fair?....no one. it just has to be.)

And in the midst of all of this...a child is conceived.

A baby on the way.

For innumerable intervals of time, all I feel is JOY.

Blessed world! A new person to meet and love!

God has magnificent timing.

I will always love you. I will always respect you.