I'm exhausted.
Been having bouts of insomnia lately for no apparent reason.
I'm not at the retreat anymore, but I wish I was.
Life is just different there.

Every so often I go into these hazy states.
Days blur together.
Events occur, yet have no effect on me.
The only reason I make it through the day is because it has been routinized.
I know where to turn and what to eat.
I know what I think is funny and I laugh.
I know what is breaking my heart and I feel sad.

I've forgotten what it's like to be alive,
what it's like to be in love,
what it's like to be free.