my medium=water

i read that floating is good for the soul

Happy Anniversary!

These sillies, who I like to call my parents, have been married for 30 years!
Today we celebrate their life together. :-)

summer happenings

a blog about fashion.

i just got home from having lunch (tuna melt. delicious.)
with my all time favorite teacher, mrs. nixon.
wow, i've known her for just about 10 years now.
(i didn't realize it'd been that long until this very moment)
her daughter, whom i've known for the same period of time, was there too.

during lunch, it became obvious to me just how much i HAVE changed.
not my sense of humor...i still find almost everything funny.
and i laugh on a regular basis.
it has more to do with how i relate to people and things.
shopping, materialism, appearance, what's "in style", etc.

i think i just used to be more in tune with popular culture.
more of a, dare i say, fashionista (haha, what a ridiculously great word)
i'm pretty sure i used to pass more judgement on people based merely on their clothes or hair
ha! as if i had some sort of authority.
i used to know what was the fad and the style and was a part of it.

well, i don't think i'm entirely out of the loop now
i think i dress well and am adequately styled.
but it fits my personality better.
more flowy dresses and pretty colors.
not necessarily apparel that is "in" per say,
just that expresses my character a little more adequately.

with all this in mind, especially my ever changing ideas with respect to physical appearance,
i'm worried about the future.
i feel like my ideals are changing and i like what they are moving towards.
yet at the same time, i know that to be professionally successful i'm going to have to conform.
i'll have to revert back to some sort of societally acceptable dress code.
to be respected in certain fields of work, i'm going to have to play by the rules.
so i know at some point i'll be faced with a dilemma.
and at some point, end up losing the self that i'm still becoming.

i want to erase the part of me that is conscientious of what i look like,
the part that cares if others approve.
at the same time, i want to recognize that it is part of me and accept it.
plus if i erase it....what will happen to me in the future?
i need all parts of me. and i need them to work in harmony.
i need to find a balance somehow
within myself
and with everyone else.


but then again,
i NEVER want to forget the meaning of the word progressive....

sometimes i do live the dream life.

what am i doing right now:
eating s'mores and watching the darjeeling limited.

7/18/08

it's weird to think that the breath currently inside of me is the only one i get, that if i fail to exhale and breathe in a new breath then i die. i think it's a blessing that we don't have to consciously take each breath.

today's 5 senses

tastes like fresh/homemade juice
sounds like a couple birds outside
smells like residue hairspray from my curls last night
feels like a warm hug in this big brown chair
looks like sunny weather....and batman in my future!

settling back into country style

i love love love the bubble that is berkeley.
and the fact that when i'm there my worries are about getting my reading done/figuring out what i believe in/trying to eat healthy/etc etc.

it's interesting. i've spent the last few years since i moved away from madera condemning it for all the problems that it has. but over the past few days, i've noticed how people care here. how people are trying. how things take time. how during certain times of life it is nice to just relax. there is an appropriate time for fun. people here know the value of a dollar. they know how to work for it and support themselves. that's more than i can say for my sorry self.

but i'm learning. taking something from my roots and the people around me now. and adding it to all that berkeley has been instilling in me for three years.

separating the meaningless from the things of value.

trying to remember where i came from and why it is important to relate to all that is here.

not forgetting who i was, but also remembering that that's no longer who i am.

this is turning out to be quite the interesting, yet incredibly UNeventful summer.
i'm looking forward to returning to the beautiful berkeley
my spirit renewed.

i'm sorry it didn't resonate with me earlier today when you looked so sad

and now, i sit here in my room with tears in my eyes
reflecting on the moment i said goodbye to one of my best friends.

we happend upon the camera on my mom's new mac.
the effects are so fun!
i love those pez dispensers. esp yoda!
and watching tennis with them
and seeing jo get all worked up about the game!
and the fact that i captured it all on "film"