so basically i only think about throwing my phone out the window after i've had relatively stressful conversations.
therefore,
stressful conversation --> my last post

i had one of the most heated discussions that i've ever had with my dad. i think he's finally coming to terms with the fact that i'm not going be a world renowned physicist. go figure. i almost feel bad for getting his hopes up all these years i guess. i told him that i was sorry i didn't want success and riches out of life. all i want is to know i'm doing something to improve society in even a very small way. hopefully this will be possible. i think it is just going to take time for us both to understand why i am doing what i'm doing. it's definitely not clear to me. so i can see why it wouldn't make sense to my parents as well. i wish they'd have a little more faith in me though. or let me know that i'm not just valuable as a student of physics. i've gotten past the point in my life where i try to impress other people all the time. so for now, i'm going to keep learning about ideas that i find interesting rather than ones that "seem" difficult and impressive. in fact, what i want to study is just as challenging and vital as any other topic out there to study. so, i won't apologize for it.

all i can do is be me.

whether it's acceptable or not.