Sunday, November 11, 2007

marriage

so this morning i wake up to,
"Juliette roll over! Juliette roll over!"
"Juliette roll over and open your eyes!"

after reluctantly complying with this startling voice
my response: "what the HECK!?"

my wife is standing in my bedroom.

we don't even live together.
we don't even live close to one another.
it's a good 25 minute walk to her apartment.
and she's standing in mine at 7:00 am.

i move over; sleep is overriding every other feeling.
sufjan is still playing softly from my speakers.
"can i have a hug?" she asks.
after a conversation, in which i'm surprisingly coherent, i drift back off to sleep.

when i wake up again this afternoon, my wife is by my side.
funny.
i am continuously coming to the realization that home is a feeling.

during the course of the conversation, the topic turned from her life to mine.
she says "you've lost the twinkle in your eye."
and i agree.
but i'm hopeful it will return.
as long as i'm not looking for it.
as long as i'm content with my life right now.
i think it will come back.

at the moment, i'm just learning.
accepting.
loving as i can.

plus i think it's hard to genuinely twinkle,
when i must generate a *twinkle* every tuesday and sunday.
maybe when it's allowed to appear of its own accord...
the twinkle will resume.

maybe it just needs some inspiration.
star gazing!
the hughes family! (dude, they are out of control.)
dancing continuously!
whistling!

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